French Lessons: un bisou
If there is anything France has inadvertently done to me is that it’s made me an awkward hugger. I’ve become quite the fan of les bises, the light kiss [un bisou] on each cheek as a greeting and a parting. So the main problem lies when I go back to visit the US and I find myself naturally going for les bises only to at the last minute remember we hug in America, and the result is a rather awkward hug (usually by the end of a trip I get it back to the old days). The other conundrum is how do I greet my American friends when they come visit me in Paris. As much as possible I try to make them accustomed to the French kisses.
The other thing to note about this French kissing, is that personally I tend to always stick with faire un bisou [to give a kiss] rather than the alternative of less familiar baiser, which also can mean to f***! Oh là là! Talk about a fear of miscommunication. Embrasser quelqu’un(e) is another alternative just to play it safe, but can also mean hug.
French Lessons is an ongoing series where I teach you French words while beefing up my Illustrator skills.
Anni
May 9, 2012 at 2:28 pm //
I’m loving these posts! I’m an awkward hugger, too.
Prêt à Voyager
May 9, 2012 at 2:30 pm //
Ha! Thanks, Anni! I have to say, it’s now the post I look forward to working on the most each week. Who knew conquering my fear of drawing could be so rewarding :)
Anne
Meg
May 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm //
Yes, now when I’m in the states I go in for the bise and realize that that person thinks I’m far too close to their face. Mega awkward when with men. OY.
These are so wonderful!
Anonymous
May 9, 2012 at 3:02 pm //
Hi Anne!
Nice, but, allow me two small corrections: donner un bisou ( without an “s” because there is only one ) and “biser” is just not used as a verb. On baise la main dune femme. Et l’autre sense de b…er” est bien celui de “f…k”, mais il est moins souvent utillisé
Bisou!
Annick
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May 9, 2012 at 3:05 pm //
Oh la vache! Je l’utilise toujours maintenant. :-)
Bises!
Prêt à Voyager
May 9, 2012 at 3:33 pm //
Thanks for the corrections, Annick. Deleted the “s.”
Another French friend on Facebook added: ”embrasser” means literally “to hug” but is used with the meaning of kissing. It’s the same semantic shift as “baiser”…
I don’t think I’ll EVER understand this language!
A
Lost In Cheeseland
May 9, 2012 at 4:24 pm //
France has also turned us into awkward speakers! Or maybe that’s just me…:)
Danielle E. Alvarez
May 9, 2012 at 5:04 pm //
I look forward to having this “problem” :) I’m going to AUP in the fall!
mes yeux ouverts
May 9, 2012 at 6:56 pm //
Excellent points! Biggest problem for me is when I go back to the US and I forget and accidentally move in for the bises rather than the hug, I get that “oh, you’re such a French snob!” look from my friends. Pretty funny, actually.
Miss K
May 9, 2012 at 7:05 pm //
I am not a fan of bises at all. Unfortunately it’s the standard way of greeting here in Luxembourg (where I live). To make it worse, it’s not two kisses, it’s three!!! I prefer the British handshake.
Sweeney
May 9, 2012 at 8:09 pm //
I like bises although I don’t like giving them to Americans even if they are in France with me, I always feel a little pretentious!
Christina
May 16, 2012 at 8:05 pm //
Love this one. Like the song, Zou Bisou Bisou – which I like to pronounce, “Scooby Dooby Doo”!
afrenchfryeinparis
September 8, 2012 at 2:05 pm //
As an American in Paris I’m still, after two and half years, getting used to the French bisou.
The most awkward moments are those with my male in-laws; we’re now getting close enough to the point where our greetings are a strange non-committal blend of handshake & awkward bise (the awkwardness coming mostly from me, of course). But like all cultural bumps in the road, you just have to take it with a dose of humor and do your best.
I’ve blogged about this as well, and I managed to find an interesting map of the number of bisous in France according to region. If you ever have a minute you may want to check it out: http://wp.me/p1dHNL-QSh1A
Thanks and take care!
Robín
October 4, 2012 at 11:18 am //
I wrote this one in the blog of the reader, at times writer, Philippe Sollers, in french :
*****
Avez vous remarqué, monsieur Sollers, que baiser est presque isophone avec peser, quoique antinome ; que l’on retrouve “besar” et “pesar” en espagnol ; et que dans la langue de ceux qui protestent de véhémence (1) et de leurs îles seules ; on trouve “kiss” et “miss”, cet amour qui contradictoirement (nous) me manque ?
(1) : Non catholiques.
*****
L´isophonie is here a neologism – sounding similarly- too lazy to translate the rest; un beso, Anne.